Youth and adults have fluctuating capacities for working memory, which is why school personnel should always provide intentional supports. This includes supporting family caregivers. Learn several strategies in this post!
Working Memory Defined
We all experience stress, and even small amounts of stress can overload executive functions, including working memory. What’s working memory? It’s an upstairs brain function that allows us to hold information just long enough to manipulate and apply it. Think of it like a mental sticky note!
Here are a few examples:
- Educators use working memory when you’re trying to enter data into a new app.—think learning the new application at the same time you’re trying to hold the data you need to enter.
- Learners are relying on their working memory capacity when they follow the steps of a new regulation skill in the heat of a moment.
- Family caregivers tap into their working memory skills when they try to remember a parent/teacher conference time from an email while thinking through how to arrange the family schedule to accommodate that meeting.
When we’re stressed or working memory gets overloaded, these tasks get harder to do—that’s why providing working memory supports for everyone at school is important.
Working memory is an upstairs brain function that allows us to hold information just long enough to manipulate and apply it.
Strategies to Support Working Memory
Lots of factors influence a human’s capacity for working memory—with some folks having developed more working memory skills than others. Regardless of our strengths and challenges in this area, our skills can change with practice, but stress is one factor that can decrease the capacity we have. It also explains why our needs for working memory support aren’t consistent day-to-day. When youth or adults can complete multi-step tasks one time but struggle another, educators may guess they’re trying to manipulate, but that’s not usually the case. It’s that working memory capacity may have changed.
Recently, I was stressed and running on not enough sleep. While putting some furniture together with a friend, they looked at the directions and quickly explained the next several steps. Feeling frustrated, I couldn’t hold that list long enough in my upstairs brain to get started and had to ask for a repeat. Eventually, I looked at the directions (a visual cue), which helped. I certainly wasn’t manipulating my friend or trying to get out of the work. Rather, my capacity for holding information in my working memory was compromised. You’ve likely experienced this yourself. It can happen to any of us.
The best way to meet these fluctuating needs is to support folks’ working memory all the time, using visuals to help. Keep reading for ideas specific to supporting families.
The best way to meet fluctuating working memory needs is to support folks' working memory all the time—use visuals to help.
Working Memory Suggestions to Support Family Caregivers
Families are juggling stressors at home and in the world. Plus, many of them are trying to manage different information and needs for more than just the learner. That’s a lot to hold, and it taxes working memory!
Here are a few easy-to-implement suggestions to support primary caregivers’ working memory needs.
- Remember that less information is more helpful. Giving tons of ideas or resources is overwhelming. One or two take aways, whether in written communication, a social media post, or conversation is best.
- Stick to a building-wide (or even district-wide) simple structure for how and when you communicate with families. Use the same format as much as possible. One option? A who, what, when, and where visual structure is a type to consider. Instead of putting things in paragraph form, organize new details in that same structure as much as possible. One example is below.
- Give families not only their start time and location for meetings, but offer an arrival time too. This saves folks a mental step and lessens their need to hold that information while figuring out their plans.
- Offer to follow-up any meeting with a brief email -highlight big ideas, next steps, or resources. Keep it short and to the point. This provides caregivers more than one opportunity to grab hold of what you’ve discussed together.
- End with a sincere thank you. If caregivers feel worse after meeting with educators, we’re not on the right track. Even when there are concerns to discuss, we have the power to help families feel safe, seen, valued, and supported in our dialogues–it matters!
If caregivers feel worse after meeting with educators, we're not on the right track. Even when there are concerns to discuss, we have the power to help families feel safe, seen, valued, and supported in our dialogues–it matters!
Simple Structures for Communicating with Families
Simple communication structures help you and those you’re communicating with understand and feel supported through even the toughest of conversations. The organization is both regulating and helpful from an executive function standpoint. You can even use these structures to jot down notes regarding things you may want to bring up in a conversation to help you remember your main points.
Here are a few of my favorite structures:
- Big Idea First: When communicating in relation to an emergency or behavioral escalation, give the big idea first. Pause for the other human(s) to take that in. It can be tempting to start from the beginning and share details in chronological order, but families may try to predict the big idea while feeling increasingly stressed. This can interfere with taking in, understanding, and remembering what you’re sharing. Try something like this. “There was a crisis today; nobody’s hurt.” Then share a bit more. Or, “We need you to come to school; something happened but everybody’s safe now.” Always reassure parents you are here to work with them.
- “First… Then…”: Outside of a crisis, try a “First… Then…” structure in a dialogue. For example, “First, I’d love to hear your perspective on how things are going for your learner. Then, I have a positive update I’d like to share with you.”
- Ms. Jen’s PB&J sandwich: In meetings or calls to discuss progress, consider using my PB&J sandwich method. 1) Start with something to celebrate (bread), 2) move into one or two things that go with progress or boosting their skills (PB), 3) invite a joint discussion about solutions (J), and 4) end with another celebration (bread). A graphic and download are available for your educational use.
- Questions Convo: Center a conversation around questions. Say, “I am bringing two questions for us to think about in our discussion, and I invite you to bring some too if you’d like. They can be about anything that matters to you in relation to your child’s learning or well-being! Other parents have offered questions like, ‘How are their friendships going?’ Or, ‘What can I do to support their learning at home?’ I also welcome you to tell me a question you wish I would ask you. One idea might be, ‘I wish you would ask me how my child seems to feel after school.”
Which idea do you want to try?
When communicating in relation to an emergency or behavioral escalation, give the big idea first.
Learn More
Learn more about these ideas by watching our October 2025 YouTube Show So Stress Affects Executive Function… Now What? with Ms. Jen and special guest Jennifer Dickey and Lori Ferris, Executive Director of the Iowa Head Start Association. You’ll learn several practical strategies, including how to use visuals, especially with families!
Find more ideas to support learners’ working memory in the quick guide I co-authored with Jennifer Dickey. It’s called Supporting Students’ Executive Function Skills in the Trauma-Sensitive Classroom: Focusing in on Working Memory.
Here’s what one high school teacher said about the guide, “While I teach multi-step processes for solving complex math problems, I don’t always teach and provide visual cues for how to email me for extra help. I’m going to explicitly teach and visually prompt youth for this and so much more moving forward.”
While I teach multi-step processes for solving complex math problems, I don't always teach and provide visual cues for how to email me for extra help. I'm going to explicitly teach and visually prompt youth for this and so much more moving forward.
Your Next Steps...
- Watch October 2025’s Now What? Show With Ms. Jen on YouTube to learn more from Ms. Jen and Jennifer Dickey.
- For more information about how to specifically teach (and cue) students to send emails to instructors, @heymrsbond on Instagram created a step-by-step guide for sending an email on July 10, 2023 that we highly recommend.
- Share something you learned from us with another educator, and encourage them to follow me on social media.
Warmly,
Reference
Alexander, J. & Dickey, J. (2024). Supporting students’ executive function skills in the trauma-sensitive classroom: Focusing in on working memory. Paul H. Brookes Publishing Co.